My cousin passed; how I feel.

This past Sunday (1/15/12) I received a text from my cousin saying his brother had past. He had been dealing with cancer for a while. I went to Knoxville during the holidays when his grandmother (my old babysitter, Muggie) called me and said, "Terrence not doing well. He can die any day now." I cried so hard because I couldn't imagine him gone. Terrence, his twin brother, Torrence, and my other cousins all grew up together. Even though they were my cousins by marriage, I was more close to them than my blood cousins. We played games together, ate together, got in trouble together, and even took naps together.

After Muggie called me, as soon as I got home, I made it my business to see him. I went to see him twice. The first time I went I didn't get a chance to talk to him much. My mother came and his mother and brother was there, too. I talked mainly to his brother, which we had a good conversation. It made me realize how much I miss being around them.

The second time I visit, I was extremely nervous because I was by myself. I was nervous because I didn't know what to say to a person who is dying. I didn't know rather if I needed to be cheerful or regular or what. Got to his room, took a deep breath, prayed, and went in.

He was sleep. I sat quietly until he woke up. He woke and we began talking. I kinda just followed his flow of the conversations. They were sweet and pleasant. We had a few laughs but not too many. Two things stood out to me. One, he told me when he got saved. Two, right before I left, I had told him I had an interview the next day and he said he was praying for me. With those two being said, it gave me confirmation that he still had faith, especially him praying for me even in the condition he was in. It brought me peace.

He has been on my heart for the longest. So many thought have come to mind. One of the main thoughts was life. It made me think about mind and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. I have to live right. I don't want to be on my dying bed knowing the wrong things I have done. I want to be a peace. And as a believer I felt the need to share this with you. If you don't have it, seek Salvation today. Yahweh and Yeshua are real and their love will keep you in perfect peace. To know Them is by reading the Scripture. Pray the Scripture, tithe, and fast. I love you, too!

Be blessed, Brothers and Sisters.